If a person has relied on anger to get what they have wanted all their life then it is likely they will have a bunch of tools in place to make sure they don’t lose it.The irony is that they are the same tools that make up anger itself. Perhaps anger is just a whole bunch of tools to defend itself and it’s existence and that it is not really part of us at all?

Maybe the opposite to anger is to understand and agree. So in an attempt to get to understand and agree we can expect to get the following from anger in it’s defense.

Silence is a powerful tool to try isolate the person that we are trying to get an agreement with. Rhetorical questions are another favorite that allow us to accuse and blame someone that we are trying to understand and get an agreement with. Then of course there is tone, volume, swearing and then threats that starts to really impede upon the understanding and agreement. Finally we have aggression and violence that basically makes it impossible to understand and get an agreement.

Anger has really done it’s job when it results in the other person also showing these signs of misunderstanding and disagreement, resulting in an impasse.