10 Tips

10 Tips to Rethink Perfect Thinking

1. All agreements can be revisited

2. Encourage diverse thinking and dissent

3. Complain responsibly (OBjECT) by going direct to the person in real-time

4. Be prepared for the failure

5. Make requests not demands

6. Speak with Adjustable, Accountable and Acceptable language

7. Respond with Appreciation, Acknowledgment, and Apology

8. If you lose it (your cool) we’ve lost it (the plot)

9. Don’t try to convert others, convert our own concepts.

10. Separate content from delivery

4 Responses to 10 Tips

  1. Anonymous says:

    Can you explain more about tips no.6, give sample thanks

    • Hi Anon, thanks for the question,and here is the answer

      1. Adjustable: We agree to try use Adjustable language when we are conversing, complaining or trying to make our point. Examples of this include reminding each other that these are only our opinions and prefacing our statements with “I think…” or “to me”, etc. There is no room for absolute language, such as “I know”, “it can’t be done” or “that’s impossible” without these prefaces, at least. At any point, we can enquire if the other person is still speaking from opinion rather than from fact, or using Factive Verbs.

      2. Accountable: Being accountable in that we take responsibility for what we say or do, rather than blaming others. For example, “You make me so frustrated” changes to “I get frustrated when we talk about this”. No room for victims and persecutors. We make our bed and we lie in it. Why are rhetorical questions a problem in conversation? It is not an easy question to answer, but I can say that to me, rhetorical questions are used when we are not willing to be accountable for our thought or argument. “Why don’t you do it that way?” can be converted to “I don’t think you should do it that way because…”, which would then require an explanation from the speaker as to why. The speaker then becomes accountable for what they think and say.

      3. Acceptable: If we find something that was said that we did not like for any reason, or even if we were unsure as to why, we do not have to accept it. If we notice any inconsistency or aggression in the other’s tone, we can simply say so, hopefully sooner rather than later, by using the following three speaking tools.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Hi Author thanks for taking time to answer my question. .

    I think I greed with point no. 2 that we take responsibility for what we say or do (action) rather than blaming others, no doubt it will influence/impact to our personal and professional relationship.

    Point no. 1 & no.3 no so sure about these thoughts.

    I salut your patience for spending an enormous times and efforts for this subject.

    I wish you all the best, thanks again

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