Amplifying My Positives, the 3 A’s in Practice.

My Open Letter to My Mum

Dear Mum

[Appreciate]
Firstly thanks for all of your help over the past 18 months and letting me stay at your place for the time you did. Without that help I would not have been able to run my Quitober Challenge last year and it has been fun staying there also with you and Tessie up to last week when the incident with Tom happened.

[Acknowledge]
This was unfortunate that this all occurred just before I was to leave (I had no conscious intentions to create such a situation) but then again everything works out for the better, in the end, I believe.

By the way, I contacted Thomas about going to counselling but he told me not to bother.
I guess this will now drag on for who knows how long, as I doubt it will be resolved without someone objective listening to both side of our story and helping point out the error of both our ways (takes two to tango).

Another useful part to all of this is that you let me know that you already considered that you had already apologised to me a number of times before the other year when I dropped down to see you. So not 20 years as I had mentioned. Frank had previously said to me that you only said sorry to make Steve & I happy and now, it seems, that this is turning out to be true. I guess that is the difference between apologising (speech in defence) and just saying sorry. It is hard to pretend to be sorry when one gives a well crafted apology.

[Apology]

So I thought, to clear things up, and so no one can be accused of just saying sorry to please the other, I would give you my fresh apologies for what happened 23 years ago in what resulted in me getting told to leave home.

1. I am sorry that I called you a “liar” in front of dad and a “compulsive liar” in the family therapy session. It is not that you are a “liar’ it is just that you lied at that time and in that situation. If I had of been more aware of the consequences of putting you on the spot in front of dad I would have dealt with the issue privately. The issue of you arranging me to drive Dillis to the airport, when dad had asked you not to.

2. I am also sorry that I called Dad a piece of “chicken shit for allowing you to lie”. Once again, if I had of been more aware of the consequences, I would not have put him in that situation where he had to decide in an instant what he was going to do and say.

If you feel that my apologies are acceptable, can you simply tell me what you are sorry for and why ? If you are really sorry for what happened.

Thanks again.

Your son
Desmond

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