When I tell people about Rethink Perfect, Why Relationships Fail, their first reaction seems to be that people and their relationships are too complicated to work out why their relationship fail and because “we are all different”. Well here is my reply to their concerns.
In the book I refer to relationships being like an aeroplane and it possibly has a flight box recorder like a plane. And that we can investigate each and every failed relationships if we so desired.
Well, maybe we are even more than a machine, more than a simple recorder. But for now let’s look at two simple parts of a person and see what we get.
How many people do you know that enjoy being shouted at or demanded of in a tone that is laced with expectations? None that I know of.
How many people do you know that could claim that they had never raised their voice or tone in anger to try coerce someone to acquiesce to their demands? None that I know of.
But wait! These two parts of people are not compatible and when put together are likely to put stress on the workings of the relationship.
As you can see this is not rocket science and you do not have to be Sherlock to realise that aggression and demands do not work well with people in relationships. That is, all people in all uses. Or at least all the people that I know and all the people that I can think of.
It is understandable that demands and aggressions occur because of our mouth but not acceptable because of our ears.
Rethink Perfect, Why Relationships Fail, is simply built around these two parts of a person and has a series of rules, tools and agreements to prepare for these two mismatched parts when put to use in a relationship. And has been put together by the investigation of what I call our Black Box Recorder that we all have and when investigated by an “independent” source, can reveal a mountain of information, useful for exposing the common problems that occur in failed relationships and allow for the common solutions to be proposed.