If you have ever watched Judge Judy you would witness the multitude of disputes that
are happening between couples. These disputes are usually petty but are ongoing,
with both having not gotten over their issues, and holding deep seated resentment for
I have a simple solution, that I believe will allow people to “get over” these disputes
and move forward with their lives.
I think that you will find that these disputes occur because both people did not
nut-out appropriate rules of engagement or behaviour before they embarked on
their relationship. If they had of, then they would not have this unresolved dispute.
If there were any agreements, they were either assumed to exist or were broken because
they obviously were not strong enough to withstand the behaviour within the relationship.
Therefore, it’s as simple as you both agreeing that whatever preparation you did before hand simply was not good enough. This could be because of being overly optimistic, laziness, or you did not realise that appropriate preparation and achieving agreements on how you will behave before and after a dispute, is the best way to approach a relationship.
If you both can admit this error, then what ever issues that occurred during the relationship are now considered null and void, as no appropriate rules of engagement were explicitly agreed to before the dispute and more importantly, before even the relationship began.
There are no victims, we are all adults, we just failed to prepare appropriately.
Agreeing to this now, will allow you both to get over the past dispute and more importantly allow you to prepare your future and separate relationships, so that you do not repeat your lack of preparations next time.
Who knows, you may even be able to rekindle, at least a friendship, between you and your ex, based on some basic appropriate rules of engagement this time around.
So what type of rules of engagement would be useful to get agreements on before having a relationship (before the sex)? Ask me and I will let you know what I think.