What is Resentment
I think resentment is the build up of anger (compound anger), over time, towards someone and ourselves for allowing a relationship or situation to get into the position that it is in now. It is sort of a feedback loop, in that we have anger for our own anger and we
have no real idea how to resolve this problem.
How do We Resolve Resentment
I think by apologising to the person we attribute our resentment to, for not setting up
a process for dealing with our anger and potential resentment before the disputes and anger occurred.
What is the Process for Dealing with Anger
I call it Rethink Perfect and it involves getting flexible and explicit agreements on:
- That anger is understandable but not acceptable.
- That we are both accountable for anger, one for their anger and the other for allowing it.
- Agree to use proposed rules of engagement as a counter balance for our bias/fears, before we enter into deep and real conversations.