I was listening to a lady being interviewed on a program called Insight on SBS TV, who said she had been bashed, stalked and nearly killed by a man that she had gotten engaged to. When asked how this could occur – she happened to be a psychologist. She replied, to the effect, that “psychopaths are incredibly clever”. But imagine if her statement was reversed and she spoke accountably i.e. about herself. Then it would require her to say that she “acted incredibly stupidly”.
If you saw the photos of her injuries the word “incredibly” is valid in this instance as her injuries appeared to be horrific and somehow she allowed this man into her life and he turned out to be incredibly violent and destructive.
Maybe if she was more comfortable with using accountable language she might realise that she is and was accountable for who she allowed into her life and to treat her so destructively.
For example, she mentioned how she rolled up to a surprise engagement party, hers!
that he had organised. Although she said she felt quite uncomfortable with such behaviour, she said that it took her weeks before she dealt with it.
As adults, I do not believe that we are a victim of who we allow into our lives, it is not a matter of “fate” or “destiny”, in my view, just a simple operation of CHOICE, allowing or rejecting appropriate or inappropriate behaviour into our lives.
As any guru worth her weight in salt would say,
“Choose well grass hopper!” (and don’t blame anyone else for your choice)
*a footnote on the word CHOICE. Look at the word as I have written it, in a mirror
and turn it upside down. You will notice that no matter how you look at it you will always have CHOICE.
I guess the difficult thing about accountability when it comes to legal matters / crimes – is that if a legal outcome favors a person, then perhaps they think they they don’t have to be accountable for their contribution. i.e. if the law doesn’t make them accountable then they can remain a non-accountable victim.
Whereas perhaps I can be both i.e. a victim as deemed by the legal system, but also accountable for getting myself in the situation in the first place.
Bit like George Zimmerman, I wonder if he thinks he is accountable for getting into that situation in the first place which ended up in him killing someone. When the kid he killed (Trayvon Martin) probably equally feared for his life but didn’t have a gun to make his fear decisive enough.
The law seems to be so black and white and determining these grey areas of accountability – and I guess that’s why civil cases are so prevalent, especially in the States, it would seem.