Let me run this by you.
Before we get angry or sad, we get resentment.
For example, say a driver in a car does not give way to us.
We can get 2 types of resentment from this experience.
1. Resentment that the driver did not give us something
(in this case, the way)
2. Resentment that we did not get what we wanted
(ie to be in a desired position at a specific time)
These resentments can then effect what happens next (hope he dies in an accident) and how we feel (angry and sad) for potentially years after, depending on the circumstances.
Lets look at Resentment 1: Why do we think and expect that this unknown driver/person
is going to give us something, out of the blue? We do not know this person and have no agreement on how we are going to behave with each other only some road rules to guide us.
I say that it is because we have been expecting others to serve us since the first day that we were born. And unfortunately have not learnt or been taught yet that our expectations are understandable but not acceptable (especially to others).
The 2nd Resentment is more curious in that we end up resenting ourselves indirectly.
It is a bit like standing out in the rain and getting wet and resenting the rain for making us cold and wet, instead of getting out of the rain. I have yet to understand why we would embark in such behaviour but I do believe that most of us bask in these two resentments to varying degrees and at varying times.
Isolating and understanding them can help us in our resentments and our quest to reduce anger and sadness in our life, I believe.