It seems to me that agreements comprise of at least two promises or personal pledges.
The agreement is the ultimate connection between the two people making the agreed promises. And of course the agreed promises are only as good as the information available at the time for the forming of the agreement so having it open and available for both parties to learn new information is a no-brainer, for healthy business or personal relationships, in my view.
The more detailed information included in the promises or personal pledges the better. That is, explicit detail verses implicit. Unfortunately, most failed agreements, seem to have surprises embedded in them.
One agreement that I am interested in is the boy friend or girl friend agreement.
Usually implicit by its nature, it seems to me to be defined as someone we are seeing while we’re seeing if someone else (better) comes along. Of course this is not commonly expressed in the BF or GF agreement but I don’t think anyone can deny that this is the thinking behind such a relationship or as a mate of mine refers to it as “upgrading”.
In fact I get accused of being a cynic for even making such an observation.
But imagine if we were more explicit in our promises for these agreements?
Surely the quality of the agreement would be improved by such information being expressed. I know that personally I would rather be the first to know that this upgrading was about to take place rather than the last to know, which is usually the case, in general.
You see, the only thing that is usually explicit about being in a BF or GF relationship is that sex is with that person only. But participating in the setting up other relationship opportunities, in the event of ditching the other or being ditched, is open to be abused.
This is probably why, to date I have never participated in such an antiquated process,
ie technically I have never had a GF, (or a BF for that matter).
It would also explain, to me, why so many personal relationships fail if they are built on such flimsy foundations of implicit promises rather than explicit ones, when forming agreements.