It seems to me that there are four decisions that I can make with someone else, with one of them being the weakest. The surprising thing is that I bet you will swear that I am wrong about the one that I have identified as such, but hear me out and you never know, you could be surprised by the results.
The 4 decisions are:
- Your way
- My way
- Our way
- The highway
This is based on my previous posts on the Expert Agreement and Apology and Accolades.
So, “Your way” or “My way” is simply activating the expert agreement and the other person agreeing to follow. “The Highway” is when we cannot agree on either Your way or My way and we go our separate ways, amicably. But “Our way” is the consensus/compromise way and leaves both of us responsible or in other words none of us are responsible or accountable for the decision and is usually made by committees.
For me the weakest way to execute ideas is through number 3, Our way, and is fraught with problems but is understandable if one is not aware of the other decisions processes.
Number 1 & 2 are simple enough if we both agree on the expert agreement from the start and don’t use our previous decisions to counter or accuse the other. ie
“You may have come up with that but I came up with this” or “Yeah, but you came up with that and look where it got us or nearly got us”.
For me we can only use the Expert Agreement if we ensure that we are inclusive of each other’s decisions ideas and use the accolades and apologies as part of the process. ie
“Yes you came up with that and I came up with this, great” or “Yes, you may have come up with that but at least it helped us get to this now”.
The effective use of acceptable accolades and apologies should facilitate this whole process.
Anyway, this is something now that me and Steve can try and see if it is valid.