Finally, after 25 years of working on the concept, I have come up with the title
“Rethink Perfect – How to prepare for disputes in conversation”.
Why Rethink Perfect? Good question. Have you ever noticed that when we are as happy as Larry we can speak with “I think this…” and “In my opinion that…” but as soon as conflict occurs, it is gloves off with “And you did this…” and “You’re wrong because…”. Our conversation seems to be peppered with dogmatic statements where we amplify someone’s negatives and filter out their positives. Rethink Perfect is designed to reverse this. To expose our dogma and aggression to ourselves and others.
When we first meet, generally, it is all nice, softly, softly talking. It seems that none of us has really giving it a thought about how we will deal with the situation when disputes and conflict arises within a conversation. Avoidance or sweeping it under the carpet being a tried a true solution. Well as sure as my name is Des, disputes will arise. How we deal with them is the template for all future events. Preparing for these occasions allows us to not be reliant on our primitive brain to find a solution at the time. Business and personal relationships fail, I believe, not because of what we have in common but because of what we don’t or can’t see eye to eye on. Or in other words, disputes. And with so many failures in relationships, it seems about time that some solutions were presented.
It amazes me that not many people have given this much thought. Or maybe they have and just developed such myopic thinking that allows them to believe that there is no possible solution. That everyone is different and every problem has its own possible solution and each needs to be dealt with on a case by case basis. Well I beg to differ.
Or maybe they are just waiting for someone to come along with a readymade solution.
Well here I am and although I do have some interesting and useful tools, this journey is not going to be easy. You might eventually know all the moves but perfecting those moves takes a life time, I think.