This statement would have to be the most over used and missunderstood statement in the context of relationships, to me. In other words it has simply become a cliché.

Of course communication is imperative to a relationship afterall, isn’t that what it is all about, RELATING! But what encourages or discourages communication or relating is the key, I think.

Therefore, by saying that “it is all about communication” and thinking that is actually “it”, woud be ironic. As it woud be an example, to me, of poor communication. But if it was said with the idea of starting and appreciating an opposite or converse point of view, I think would be a good start.

So for starters, let me say to someone that makes this comment, “Thanks for starting this conversation. and here is my feedback on it below”.

After contimplating why we converse, for the last 23 years, I only recently discovered the answer. Imaginre that, I turned 50 and didn’t know what conversing was for. Want to know what I discovered?

Conversing, to me, is to convert my concepts, through feedback, into agreements and possible solutions to my problems.

However, what I have noticed is that to most people (me included) we tend to try to convert other people’s concepts rather than our own. “You should do…” or “why do you think that…” (rhetoric), “your wrong..”, “you can’t do it that way” etc.

No wonder communication is reduced or non-existant. If we get some ground rules down on how we communicate or converse, I think, it would be a good start to rekindling the lost art of conversation. What makes it overly difficult is that to achieve these ground rules or agreements we need the ability to converse. And by that stage in a relationship it may be very difficult to achieve unless they get outside help or read Rethink Perfect.