I ran into an old flame on Twitter the other day and while conversing I was hit with what I considered was a demand i.e. “You should focus on idealising the love not the lover”.
Now the question is how to deal with this demand?
1. I could apologise for not letting them know from the start and let her know that I don’t cope well with people demanding of me and suggest how she could share her thought as more of a request or better still enchant me ie. “can you focus on the idealising of the love not the lover” or “ I think you are….” or best of all “I focus on idealising the love not the lover!”.
2. Or I could simply suggest that that sounded like a demand to me and get her to confirm her position.
3. Or I could have ignored it at my later peril. ( I am not that stupid)
Either way my hunch was right. Dealing with this first demand was the beginning of the end of the conversation. One demand and the whole house of cards comes down if we try to deal with it. But allow it and the repercussions would be far worse, I reckon.
So now it is pretty clear to me that demands and demanding are the key to why relationships are failing. Heck she even admitted it as the reason hers failed.
Rethink Perfect is my attempt to deal with our demands and our demanding. Nothing to do with luck why the more we demand the more failed relationships we have.
My only question is that if I am requesting to be treated without such demands then am I actually demanding this? I guess the answer is who does the runner first. If mine is a request then I will be still prepared to discuss the issue till we get a solution or a resolution. The one demanding will find it all too hard as an addict to their demands and flee looking for some other sucker that will acquiesce to their demanding for as long as they can get what they want from the demander.
I guess it is easy to tell those that are demanding as they are likely to admit it for one as they seem to think of it as some badge of honour. And two they will have a legacy of tragically failed relationships in their wake.
So I say make demands at our own peril but don’t blame luck for our results. Requests or enchantments are so much more civilised and befitting for 2011 and beyond. I think it is time for a rethink!