In response to Steve’s thought on “don’t get angry or sad get useful”.
>Yeah instead of allowing uncertainty and >ambiguity to turn into anger or sadness –
>we can instead focus that energy into >something useful.
>Coz I guess there is still going to be uncertain >regardless if we get angry or sad.
>Whereas usefulness can help us prepare for >uncertainty over the longer term
>and more generally.
I think anger or sadness occurs not because of uncertainty or ambiguity but because of our own certainty. We want a certain outcome. The anger or sadness we display is either to get that outcome (by hook or by crook) or to get instruction on how we can go about expressing our discomfort so that we can get even more help.
If we attract obsequious behaviour (brown nosing) from people then we are likely to get the “hook or by crook” outcome. But if we attract people that are willing to speak their mind, then they are likely to encourage us to be more constructive in our expression of our discomfort.
Either way our anger or sadness is dissipated to lesser or greater degrees by such behaviours and we move on.
One way off this merry-go-round is to simply understand this process and reduce our own certainty. Next time we feel a tad of anger or sadness, check out what certainty we are displaying and just moderate it by remembering that we could be wrong and calmly seek feedback from the perceived cause of this discomfort.