Growing Apart


I was wondering, today, if couples in relationships ever fear growing apart, in effect have a fear of growing?

Although this term “…we grew apart” can be a bit/lot of a cliche there may be some real meaning or truth to the term.

Growing apart is obviously not physically growing but putting on weight could be another issue. So, presumably the growing means in the mind in an awareness and understanding of one’s self, each other and in life. That is, one person growing more aware than the other is the possible implicit fear, maybe.

But what if part of the growing awareness included how to bring along one’s partner, in effect grow together? This would alleviate the fear of growing apart. This fear, if it exists could explain how relationships can become stale and could very well result in the actual failure of such a relationship. Ironic really.

So, once we have overcome this potential fear of growing unevenly or apart we could then encourage each other to continually grow. But what is this “growth” that would allow us to help to bring along the other? I suggest it could be the growth in being aware of how we can continually grow and how to counter the fear of growing apart. I have a feeling that this is a long lost understanding or awareness that we all were designed to nurture continually in our life. ie this post is part of that awareness, maybe.

Yes this is a big call on my behalf and opens me up to prove a lot but I am starting to feel pretty confident that I may have stumbled on something unusual and original but most of all, something that is actually provable, measurable, practical and not just a philosophical idea.

I think this “growth” in awareness of how to grow in awareness is measurable and predictable and now I guess it is up to me to develop an experiment to do just this. Watch this space.

Refer to Rocket Science for further reading on how I think one can achieve this growth

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4 Responses to Growing Apart

  1. GoofyFoot says:

    If I understand what you mean, I think the growth in awareness part, can be measured by how often we are responsible for how we feel and act as opposed to us trying to make others responsible.


    * You made me angry Vs. I feel angry
    * I had to do it Vs. I chose to do it

    But when this growth in awareness fails to change at a similar pace for both people – would you say they both equally failed to convert their own concepts into a mutual agreements?

    (Ie neither can take the moral high ground nor try religate the other to the low ground)

    • Yes I agree, I don’t think that anyone in a relationship can take the moral high ground as
      they are both responsible for building the “low ground” or foundation that the rel is built upon.

      That it is this foundation that if prepared so well that it can sustain any growth that the building can take no matter how many metaphorical floors we add to it.

      Now how one goes about preparing a foundation or finding a ready made one is up to the couple but if the building fails, I think, it is because the foundation was poorly conceived. and/or executed by both.

  2. amol joshi says:

    When relationship start fading and you have no same interest. Every relationship goes through this phase. You stat feeling indifferent towards your partner.This happens in friendship and relationships.

  3. Pingback: Growing Apart | rethink PERFECT – Random stuff and articles, funny things so on

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