It seems to me that there are two approaches or mediums for communicating, direct and indirect. Direct being to go direct the the person or organisation that one has the problem or issue with and indirect to go behind the backs of the person of organisation that one has a problem or issue with (colloquially called gossip).
The indirect medium is far more popularly used and, I believe, has resulted in causing a lot of problems in our society and for businesses.
Most people choose the indirect approach to “vent” or “dump” their problems on their family and/or friends resulting in a merry-go-round of spreading this load throughout the community with usually the last person to hear being the person or organisation that the issue is with. This method, although endorsed by the users as being the better approach, can pervert the issue, resulting in inefficient and inaccurate information being dispersed.
Couple that with sycophantic and obsequious behaviour by the listener of such gossip and we have a perfect storm for compiling a one sided story and exasperating disputes. Most people do not use the direct approach to solving or resolving issues because they are afraid of how the person or organisation will react to this information and because there does not seem to be any “rules of engagement” for such a process. And also because it is not encouraged or endorsed by, I dare say, anyone.
Well I am endorsing it here and as difficult as it may seem and insurmountable the process may seem, by choosing this medium, one is setting oneself in a direction that can lead to surprising results.
For one thing, after trying the direct approach for some 30 years, I recommend using an agreed set of “rues of engagement” (ROE) or guidelines for sharing such issues or problems direct. Being without practice and using the indirect approach for so long, I recommend that one develops such ROE ASAP.
I have cobbled together some 6 ROE that my brother and I use when using the direct approach to resolving our problems. These ROE have been designed to moderate our discussions or conversations during our direct approach. But of course you can cobble together your own.
So far this approach seems to have kept me out of trouble but the down side to it is that because not many people seem to vouch for this method, it can leave one out there in the blue ocean while everyone else it drowning in a sea of red (blood).