It is all so very topical now days to talk up domestic Violence (DV) and especially the blaming of men for it, with the statistics seemingly proving their apparent guilt as the sole cause and we know statistics don’t lie!
The talk also seems to rotate around who is responsible for women’s safety? Which, to me, is a typically polarizing and rhetorical question, implying that women should not have to fear being raped, bashed or murdered by men, especially the man that they share the same bed with. And I agree.
In an ideal world this would be so but unfortunately there are men out there that should never be in a relationship and also in an ideal world women should be able to expose these guys. But we all know or at least should know, that it is not an ideal world and the arms race of bait and switch between men and women is ongoing and has been for millennia.
Yes, in my view, as grown adults, both genders are responsible for baiting each other from the start and allowing themselves to get sucked into, what eventually becomes a toxic relationship after the switch.
If domestic violence was so important to women then one would expect that it would be part of one of the first conversations with a man. Yet I believe it is still one of the last conversations.
Ultimately I think that all adults are responsible for who we choose to have sex with and invite into our beds. Yes both genders are, as unfortunately the consequences for a bad choice can be lethal, as those damn statistics bare out.
Choose well grasshopper!
Two different takes on this subject:
Don’t play the victim blame game with family violence
By reporter Miki Perkins
The part women play in domestic violence
By psychologist Sallee McLaren