The saying “up to you” seems to be a common phrase in certain societies.

It is a curious saying for me as when one is in a relationship or partnership with someone else it is mostly up to two not up to one.

So what is going on here?

I believe in an effort to please the other, the person saying “up to you”, ends up placing the responsibility for the outcome squarely on the other’s shoulders. A lot of the time that does not make me happy.

I believe in a relationship or partnership the the taking of responsibility needs to be shared more evenly in a lot of cases but of course certain roles are up to one, like carrying a baby. In this case I would say that was “up to you” to carry him or her. But up to two to decide if this was to occur.

Anyway, next time someone says to you “up to you” rethink if this is actually applicable and if you think not then let them know that maybe it is actually up to two, and ask to discuss the two options.