I think that the men that have ever used the derogatory terms such as “slut”, “whore”, “tart” or “tramp” and even “liar” are obviously “suckers”, victims of their own ignorance and stupidity.

As the saying goes “one born every minute”.

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Rethink Our Final Judgement


Rethink Our Final Judgement

The other day, I heard someone mention that old cliché of how they reacted when they felt “judged”. And it got me thinking about this word and this is what has transpired.

First, my definition of what the purpose of a boyfriend or girlfriend is, seems appropriate: ie. “Someone that we are having sex with while assessing (judging) if we want to have a longer term relationship with them”.

In my view, basically, we were born to judge. All our senses do exactly that, judge. Balance, distance, weight, time, space, volume, temperature, scent, texture etc etc. We can also judge or assess our feelings and what we hear. When someone speaks to us, we can assess how accurate the information is or how sincere they deliver it. How they felt when they delivered it, how much they believed it and so on.

These assessments or judgements are part of everyday life. Yes, we make thousands of judgements every day and then we meet someone and they assess that we are judging them…ha! Yes, it is true. We are all doing it, judging, making judgements or assessing all the time, all our life and so what?

I think that these judgements that we make are weighed against risk, it is what gives us our sense of balance. Every judgement we make has been assessed and measured by risk. It is our risk assessment and this is not so easy for some of us in certain areas of our life, possibly due to our biases and lack of knowledge, skill and practice.

For example, the people that can risk assess and make excellent judgement calls in the physical space are usually our professional athletes. People that make good financial and business risk assessments are usually our entrepreneurs and business people.

To me, life is one big risk assessment and judgement call, and the biggest risk assessment or judgement call that we can ever make, in my view, is to choose or select our personal partner or husband/wife. Maybe all our risk assessing, judging and judgement calls are all honed so that we can make this ultimate choice, what is, for most of us our mating partner.

So, when you feel judged next time someone gives you feedback, maybe take into consideration that they might be just honing their skills in their mating cycle. And remember, your assessment of what they say is also a judgement call. What is more important to me, is to make sure that they or I do not consider our assessment as perfect. After all, these assessments or judgement calls are still only opinions, aren’t they? Although, some of them may have been honed to near perfection, still, there must be room for error to be considered, after all it is not our final judgement, or is it?

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Love, Creativity & Innovation are a Negotiation Process….

Love, creativity and innovation are a Negotiation process….where we negotiate with, ourself and each other…to save, protect and try…..ideas, understandings and proposals.

Creating, finding and maintaining…a safe physical, emotional and intellectual…environment to undertake such negotiations is imperative in my view, and is the first step in the process of love, creativity and innovation.

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My Relationship Resume 

Male that:

  1. Never gets angry
  2. Never tells bullshit
  3. Will always help you within an hour when asked
  • And will give an acceptable apology when he doesn’t keep 1,2 & 3

He will help you understand him and believes that creating understandings together is the basis for love. (Warning, creativity is not easy)

Looking for someone to reciprocate.

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3 Minute Lie & Apology

It seems to me that we all lie to a lesser or greater degree, and really, I don’t see this as a major problem. Let him/her that does not lie cast the first stone. But what I do see as very damaging and destructive is when we are found out and we deny our lie. We lie about lying.
This is when we are going to be in real trouble I think.

So here is my new understanding proposal. That we are allowed to lie but if we are discovered, then the least we can do is acknowledge it by putting up our hand and apologise for the lie.

If we can do this in 3 minutes and not 3 days then I think a relationship has a chance of succeeding. If not then I think the relationship is bound to fail, eventually.

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Uneven Keel

I just realised the other day that the counter balance on this diagram is now called
a Keel and it is used to keep the relationship on an “Even Keel”
At present I continue to slip over into an uneven keel with my latest victim….I mean GF, as per below:


Relationship without effective created understandings (Uneven Keel)

My brother, Steve and I seem to do it ok as we have a lot of created understandings in place to assist. Maybe the even keel consists of these created understandings?


Relationship with effective created understandings (Even Keel)

So as one sets up this keel of created understandings with a prospective partner
technically it should become more even, in theory.
Nice! Worth testing.
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Created Understandings

I think love/relationships is all about treating each other carefully and being especially careful about our reactions. Using Created Understandings or more commonly called “agreements” to assist in this process.

Preparing for the failure or lack of perfection during this process is imperative and
so creating our first understanding, around an apology process, is a good idea.

I suggest using a 3 step apology process where we state:

  1. What we did
  2. Why we did it, and
  3. What we would do next time

But you might have a better understanding to suggest?

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