“Rethink Perfect is an agreement process
that assists us to convert our own concepts,
through feedback, into agreements.”

Ok Steve for the purpose of this exercise can we do what Robert Gerrish suggested in his post on Flying Solo:
http://www.flyingsolo.com.au/startup/setting-business-goals/business-vision-small-step-for-a-big-change

That we write him a letter like we were in the future, this time next year and tell him how we are
in all facets of our life but especially where TC and RP will be. And I will do the same. When complete we will share them
with each other.

I think we can escape our biases through conversation.
Not just through any conversation, but conversation where we have agreed
to the purpose of conversation, ie to escape our biases.

Once we agree to the purpose of conversation (escape our biases), we are then going
to need some rules of engagement or code of ethics, that we can agree to use so that
we can deal with any biases that occur during the process of conversing (for escaping our biases).

But if we have biases that we wish to escape, how are we going to find rules of engagement
that can be agreed to? After all if I propose my rules of engagement surely they will be biased.

I just found a an insightful book on the subject “Where Good Ideas Come From” by Steven Johnson.
In it he expands on the idea that the city is great for creating innovation and the village is poor for such creativity.
In other words the more we get together and share our ideas the more likely we are to have innovation and creativity.
Along with 7 other patterns that contribute to innovation.

The Dark Side of Innovative Teams

http://innovationme.weebly.com/1/post/2013/01/the-dark-side-of-innovative-teams.html

I have been personally working on this problem of relationships for some 27 years and have just completed a self published book/manual on it called:

Rethink Perfect – The Upside of Uncertainty and the art of moderating our own disputes

The idea revolves around 6, agreed to, rules of engagement.

3 for speaking and 3 for responding.

SPEAK WITH:

Adjustable,

Accountable,

Acceptable language

RESPOND WITH:

Appreciation

Acknowledgment

Apology

My brother and I have been using this form/spirit of conversation for the last 20 or so years and seems to be serving us well.

Having a definition of what is a conversation, can also be very useful.

We agree that a conversation is the process of converting our own concepts, through feedback, into agreements and possible solutions.

Anyway lots more to share that may be your Adjacent Possible, for a free down load go to http://rethinkperfect.com

“ I learn when I am wrong but I don’t mind being right every now and then.”
Adam from Myth Busters

Liquid Networks of Conversations

Area most productive for innovation between the solid of an agreement
and the disruptive gas

I don’t think that we have to deny the existence of a coincidental event or to its possibility
of occurring just because of the superstitious explanation, that some people use to understand it. AKA The end of the world, as we know it, could happen at any time, with the pressing of a red button.

Suicide still 4 times more likely to happen to males than females in Australia. Outrageous but true!

Australian Bureau of Statistics

Practice!

What is Resentment
I think resentment is the build up of anger (compound anger), over time, towards someone and ourselves for allowing a relationship or situation to get into the position that it is in now. It is sort of a feedback loop, in that we have anger for our own anger and we
have no real idea how to resolve this problem.

Flawed Relationship Resulting in Resentment

How do We Resolve Resentment
I think by apologising to the person we attribute our resentment to, for not setting up
a process for dealing with our anger and potential resentment before the disputes and anger occurred.

Ideal Relationship where anger is dealt with

What is the Process for Dealing with Anger
I call it Rethink Perfect and it involves getting flexible and explicit agreements on:

• That anger is understandable but not acceptable.
• That we are both accountable for anger, one for their anger and the other for allowing it.
• Agree to use proposed rules of engagement as a counter balance for our bias/fears, before we enter into deep and real conversations.

Rethink Perfect Counter Balance Agreement using 6 rules of engagements all beginning with A

Link to the summary of Rethink Perfect