What about this for a new method of conversing
Called DFM where, if I am talking to you we activate the DFM any time. That is Direct Feedback Mode.
How it works:
So the conversation is going along in parallel with you saying
“I do it this way because of that reason “ and then I say
“Yeah well I do it this way because of that…” etc the only reason we do it that way because
we don’t have the tools to risk a more direct approach, I reckon.
What if I called a DFM knowing that when I do you cannot disagree with it and that you have to close the DFM
with “Worth considering”.
So then the way is open for me to tell you what I think directly.
ie “I think you should have spoken to your mum directly about that issue because of this reason”
All you can now do is ask questions or close the DFM and we move on to the next issue.
But at no point can you disagree with my feedback.
When you think about it, it is like me serving someone a meal and asking them what they thought of it.
Then they say in DFM that they think it was over cooked or too sweet. Then I say no it wasn’t I thought it was just right!
I cannot disagree with them or I just taint the results and get into a feedback loop.
All DFMs must start with “I think..” or “To me…” etc as it is only MY feedback and I don’t represent the world or people generally
More Rules of DFM
· One has to call a DFM as a warning for the other to prepare not to disagree
· One has the right to refuse a DFM
· The feedback must be Direct
· Failure to stick by the rules requires an apology
· One can challenge the other to use a DFM when we think they are being overly indirect.