The prolem is not me, it’s mine in how I react or deal with someone trying to “…ram their ideas down my throat” or trying to make me, or my behaviour, the problem.
An old mate of mine, used to say to me, that… “ The problem is me”, until one day he decided that the problem was actually me or in this case that I was a “…troublemaker” and he never spoke to me since.
How I dealt with him making me the problem was to apologise for especially not having any agreed rules of engagement or code of ethics to deal with such disputes.
So now I would aim to make an agreement with him and anyone else that we make the problem our own and not make the person or even their behaviour the problem.
How does this translate? Well, I aim to own and convert my problem and then can apply all of those cliché that are used in relationships on the problem.
Commitment: I am committed to solving/converting my problems. These problems are mine. They are my problems.
Trust: I trust that I will solve/convert my problems.
Love: I love solving/converting my problems
Respect: I respect my problems and the process I use to solve/convert them.
Communicate: I will communicate my problems so that I can solve/convert them.
Truth: The Truth is my problem and how I go about solving/converting them.