Everyone is aware of the discomfort and unpleasantness that Anger brings to a relationship and most people try to avoid it, which can only compound the problem.
So why not simply make the Angry Agreement with someone before any such relationship issues or problems occur?
So what is the Angry Agreement? Well, for me it is the beginning of an understanding that we are going to need agreed to ways to deal with our frustrations and annoyances during our journey forward to grow and improve a business partnership or personal relationship.
- The first thing to understand is that no agreement is going to be perfect and so any agreement is open to be improved, added to, suspended, and even ended as long as we both agreed to do so. This will reduce or even take away any pressure we may feel to be held to an imperfect agreement but at the same time have the confidence that things cannot change unless we both are in *consensus.
- The second thing is that no one can bully the other person into submission as we try negotiate to get to the next rung on the ladder of improving an agreement. The listener is always protected and at any point the person listening to the pitch can let the other person know if they are feeling threatened and can simply ask for a preferred delivery method or break if required.
- All displays of anger, due to impatience, frustration or annoyance is not going to be surprising but does not need to be accepted by either, no excuses.
The Angry Agreement would only be the start of an agreement framework that can be added to and built upon at any time as long as we both agreed, once again.
*For me, a consensus does not always have to occur as we could revert to “Apologies and Accolades”. That is if one of us is brave enough to step up and call it, then the other can simply allow this to see what the result is. If it goes well the person that stepped up gets the accolade but if it does not go so well then they will need to apologise.