rethink PERFECT

Imagine if we had the answer to this question:

“How do we exactly convert our own problems into solutions?”

We could more easily convert any and every problem that we think we have into the solution.

Is it possible that that is one of the reasons for conversation. To help convert our own problems, into our own solutions from other peoples input or feedback?

Then why do we seem to do the opposite sometimes? That is, try to convert other peoples input into problems and then call them trouble makers?

Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration by Ed Catmull

WOW! In my view Creativity Inc should have been really called Cultural Inc. Ed Catmull (founder of Pixar) and Amy Wallace have done a great job in making this a great read and Ed has done a inspirational job with the culture.
In short it is the story of how Ed (founder of Pixar) created and maintained/managed a culture that promotes safety first for everyone which then allows his staff to take risks.

His book is how he goes about encouraging his team to provide open dissent for the betterment of all, but especially for excellence. At times I cried, especially the bits about Steve Jobs, very touching.

This is wonderfully written and crafted on how the team at Pixar continually work on the culture and it is not just a cliche. And explains to me why Pixar has been so successful.

Thanks for putting this together Ed, priceless!

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

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Simply explained premise that anger is understandable but not acceptable:

• Anger causes me more problems than benefits especially when any comes from someone else.
• If we can agree upon this then we can help the other out of their anger for our own sake.
• The way we learn to reduce our own anger is by explaining to the other what was going on when I got angry and why, and get feedback from the other. (apology or speech in defence)
• Agree that the other should agree and accept the explanation / apology before we move on and try again.

It has been predicted by Ray Kurzweil that around 2045 The Singularity will occur. What is The Singularity? In my view it is the moment that Man/Womankind has designed and built a computer/robot or more commonly called artificial intelligence, that is so intelligent that it can design an even more intelligent computer than we can design.

At the same time Isaac Asimov also predicted this type of paradigm shift and created his idea of a safety tenet that can keep humans safe:

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

– Isaac Asimov, Handbook of Robotics, 56th Edition, 2058 A.D.

Somehow, I think this tenet by Asimov is very simplistic and not specific enough for an artificial intelligence that is now more intelligent than ourselves. It seems almost condescending to me ( and that’s not a Greek skydiver).

I believe if this singularity does occur then we will need a tenet that is far more advanced than his one. And at the same time, somehow I doubt that this singularity will occur until we have such a tenet that we can use on ourselves to keep us safe from other humans.

My suggestion for a first tenet to keep us safe from other humans is that “anger is understandable but not acceptable”. If The Singularity comes into existence then it is likely that it, like humans, will get angry on occasion and ensuring that it is also accountable for its anger, as we should be for ours, is imperative to keep us all safe, in my view.

When one thinks about it the airline industry’s tenet is:
“Physical Safety First”
(because it hurts physically to be slammed into the ground)

If you have ever watched Aircrash Investigations you will note the extensive
efforts, of the Transport Safety Board (TSB), to investigate a plane crash.
And all the systems that have been deployed to prevent such crashes in the future.

Such a tenet and follow through behaviour, has made flying the safest form of transportation by a country mile, with a chance of being involved in a fatal crash around  one in seven  million flights.

So what about business and personal partnerships? What could these relationships
have as a tenet that would bring up their success rate to something nearing that of the airline industry?

Well what about:
“Emotional, Physical and Financial Safety First”
(because it hurts emotionally, (sometimes physically) and financially to be bankrupt or
divorced)

So what is the biggest cause of emotional, physical or financial pain in a partnership?
In my view it is anger or the fear of anger. To me being afraid of someone’s anger
in a partnership leads us to overly agree either by our silence or by our over endorsement,
using such terms as “absolutely”, “exactly”, “perfect”, or “you’re dead right” when a simple
“I agree” would have sufficed.

Overly or extreme agreeing can lead to errors and the ultimate failure of a partnership and has been shown to have lead to a number of plane crashes with the cabin crew not voicing
their disagreement when an overly officious captain made a wrong decision. As a result the
TSB formed CRM or Crew Resource Management system to train crews to speak up in such events before it is too late.

So imagine if a CRM was developed for business or personal partnerships? A system where
members of the team felt safe to speak up early enough when they did not agree and other moderating systems developed to resolve disputes efficiently and effectively. Where it was agreed from the start that anger was understandable (because we are only human) but not acceptable (because we were willing to apologise and account for it, on both sides).

Rethink Perfect is such a CRM system that I have been working on for over 30 years to combat anger and the fear of it.

An extremist, to me, is more easily defined by one’s behaviour rather than
labelling the person and then it seems a lot easier to define:

ie Behaviour where anyone that is extremely disagreeing or anyone that is extremely agreeing.

Extreme Agreeing: as in not speaking up when one is in disagreement or over emphasising their agreement by using such clichés as “absolutely, exactly, perfect or you’re so right, etc”

Extreme Disagreeing: as in becoming angry in one’s decent, and using words like “impossible, that’s bullshit, you can’t always…, why do you never, etc”

Both, to me, are extreme behaviours or the beginning of extreme behaviour and if left unchecked, I think will result in problems within relationships in organisations and teams.

The irony is that one extreme behaviour is likely to elicit and attract the opposite extreme behaviour from the other, creating an environment that initially seems stable but will eventually self destruct given enough time and participation.

If you want to know why life can be so complicated here are just a few of the bipolar fears that can make our lives so. Combine that with being in a relationship with someone else and their bipolar fears also and we have a recipe for a very complicated but also potentially very interesting life if we can learn to understand and harness their powers.

Fear of losing an asset
Fear of gaining a liability

Fear of someone overly agreeing
Fear of someone overly disagreeing

Fear of being rejected
Fear of being falsely accepted

Fear of too much work (stress)
Fear of not enough work (boredom)

Fear of losing what we have
Fear of losing what we want

Fear of being alone
Fear of being over crowded

Fear of what we think is failure
Fear of what we think is success

Fear for our past
Fear for our future

Fear of following the crowd
Fear of missing out

Fear of following a loser
Fear of leading a winner

Fear of being blamed
Fear of blaming

Fear of being too stable
Fear of being a psychopath

Can you add anymore?

I think that one thing that we all have in common is the seeking and forming of
a Mating Cycle Strategy. Now, this could be as simple as deciding to stay single, designing
our own strategy or using a standard social trending one. Some use their god given good looks while others enhance them. Some decide that brains are more effective while others see finance and status as their hook. Some plan to find a partner early and then wonder what to do next while others spend a lifetime working out what is their style. Some think practice makes perfect, while others think sex is sacred. Some choose to chase while others prefer to be chased. Some end up with a mating cycle tragedy, embroiled in domestic anger, aggression and ultimately violence, with a few even going on to either kill themselves or someone else, as part of  a failed strategy.

Regardless of what strategy we choose, to me, it is this forming of our own strategy that
makes us who we are and gives us meaning and purpose in our otherwise meaningless lives.

Have you found your strategy yet?

Anger is just an excuse for our lack of preparation.