rethink PERFECT

Here is a thought:

The “greater we expect” (>e) by the “less we prepare” (<p) equals
the “more we get angry” (a)

>e x <p = a

Or simply means we are in a state of delusion, mania and possibly mental illness,
ie Anger=Mad!

If this is true then what is it called if we expect less and the prepare more?
Maybe depression!

Also what if we expect less and prepare less what is that called
Maybe apathetic or average Joe!

Finally what if we expect more and prepare more?
Ambitious or wellness!

If anger is made up of the two components of a level of expectations and a level of preparation, then I can appreciate someone’s high level of expectation but not accept their lack of preparation.

Or the reverse, I can appreciate someone’s high level of preparation but not their lack of expectation.

Both are to either side of mental health spectrum, in my view, from the manic to the depressed and both could improve. Where do you fall in this diagram?

I guess I err in not having high enough expectations considering the high level of preparation I am putting in.

Maybe a time for change.

As the song goes by One Republic “It’s too late to apologize….” But can it ever be too late?

I actually think it is the complete and utter opposite!

That it’s too late to ever seek an apology.

Why? Because, I believe that, instead of seeking an apology I should have made sure we had what ever agreements we needed in place so that their apology was or is not necessary.

To me it is like shutting the gate after the proverbial horse has bolted and expecting an apology from the offender, when we should have agreed to put a spring loaded gate there in the first place.

So instead of me seeking an apology I think I should be offering three of my own.

1. That I failed to get the agreement in the first place.
2. That I expected an apology at all from them and
3. For thinking that it can be too late to apologize 

Three errors in my thinking that would have resulted, in my view, in the ultimate failure of the relationship or partnership.

“The universe is a synphony of time and space allowed together by us.”

So what does this mean and where did it come from?

I woke up this morning and wrote it down from a dream I was having.

I also worked out what it means this afternoon.

That is that “space” and “time” do not exist only my space in my time exists.

That the universe is a construct of everyone’s own space and time and we allow or fudge the rest.

“36 Complaints Dress Up to Look Like Questions…”

I was talking to a millennial last night, from Chicago, she was 28 and had her smart phone out periodically as one would expect. Anyway rather than make any statement she just gave me a tip to look up “36 Questions” and I found this. I have a feeling this is the millennial way of flipping the bird. I think you will get what I mean if you see the video.

The thing is though, all of these questions are rhetorical questions. Now, unless one understands the effect of such rhetorical questions on one’s intellect, it is likely to be short circuited by them. My bro and I have agreed a long time back that we will not allow or accept rhetorical questions in our discussions or conversations. It changes the whole landscape with such an agreement.

Simple and the usual examples of such rhetorical questions are:
“When are you going to clean your room?”
“Why do you always do that?”
“How many times do I have to tell you?”

I think you will find them very familiar. The scary thing is that these young women do not seem to be aware how much they now already sound like their parents.

I hope the Millennial men can see the difference between rhetorical questions and sincere ones or just statements of opinion and the reasoning behind them and seek agreements to not allow the rhetoric to creep into their relationships as it will spell the beginning of the end when this happens, in my view.

See, rhetorical questions do not need to provide ANY reasoning behind them as they are statements of “fact” in the guise of a question. Very clever me thinks.

For me, the truth is that all these women simply feel disenfranchised and fair enough, I think we all do to lesser or greater degrees. Lets all get our opinions out there with the facts and reasons to back them up and have the conversations that we need to project us forward and less rhetoric.

When one thinks about it women have it relatively easy today!
That is, their struggle for equal rights over the last 100 years, for example,
is a no-brainer. Their fight for equal rights is a legal one against, now obvious, unjust laws. And this is a fight against the system that women are winning and will some day win, in my view.

But what about men and their fight for equality? That’s right, there is none!
There are no obvious laws that make men unequal with women.
It is not a law that says that men can’t have a baby. Or a law that men have to initiate a conversation, relationships, sex or propose marriage.
There is no law that says men should not cry or show their emotional side.
If there was a fight for men it would be more a social one against expectations, social norms and codes of conduct.

After a hard fought battle by women it is now against the law to discriminate against them on the grounds of gender even though it still occurs to certain degrees. But it is not against the law to expect a man to ask a woman out on a date and this is the nub. Men’s battle is not a no-brainer, and most seem to find it even funny.
In fact, the case still needs to be made that this is even a valid issue, in my experience, with most people choosing to be blind sided by it as a mountain too big to climb. I am not convinced.

This could go some way to even explain why there is such an enormous difference between the suicide rates of men and women with men accomplishing it some 4 times more than women. Men are also killing women and each other at around this rate also. Overall, something seems to be really pissing men off and social inequality could be one of the issues.

I was listening in to a conversation with 3 women on women’s lib and men’s suicide
and I was compelled to go over and ask if I could share my thoughts quickly, if I was allowed, which I was.

I pointed out that I overheard their convo. and that the subject of domestic violence and
men’s suicide interests me greatly.

I then pointed out that an interesting statistic is that men seem to be killing women and taking their own lives about the same, some five times more than women do.
Men probably kill each other around the same figure. I said there is a real problem with men’s violence and they agreed with me.

They also agreed with me that socially that it was unequal with men still in the 21 century being expected to initiate conversation and marriage etc. With them endorsing that that the system is the cause and that it does not even benefit men being part of this system.

But here is the take away… when I suggest we all need to work together to change this system they continued to blame men for the running of the system and being in the seat of “power”.

So these reasonable women in all their talking still believed that men were responsible for this system and therefore the problem.

I disagreed, I believe that a system is in “power” and is independent of its parts or is the sum of its parts’ participation or lack of participation. I believe that to continue to blame one person or part or section or race or religion or gender for the entire system is only going to exasperate the situation and slow the rate of change.

Maybe all this male violence is based around being the blame and scapegoat for all of the world’s woes for the last few millennia. I prefer to blame the system that we all are part of and have allowed to exist.

In other words blame the system not the parts.

Rethink Perfect – Making projects

• Fun
• Fit and
• Fair

What’s your project?

At first glance you may find this question strange but when I think about, to me it seems that everyone has a “project”, even if they are not so aware of it.
You know… an over arching, big idea, plan or talent in our life that drives us consciously or unconsciously to make the choices that we make in life.

Some may find it early in life while others find it later, while others may never discover their project at all. I personally started to recognise my project when I was 25, when I discovered what I considered was a huge thought in my life, that “I could be wrong”.

So I eventually named my project Rethink Perfect, started this blog and wrote my self published book by the same title.

Today I would describe my project as a method to do the following with others:

1. Find a FIT
2. Have   FUN and
3. Being  FAIR

So what is your project?

Somehow the process of projecting our project helps in this process, I believe.
Maybe it is time you projected yours?

I think that there are two types of people in the world

1. Those that can tell us what is true, or perfect or absolute or undeniable
2. And those that can’t

Which one do you think you are?

It has come to my attention that life is populated with false accusations with no agreed process of redressing the voracity of such claims or accuracy of information supplied.

So, for me, false accusations consists of:
Over or under assumptions (assuming imperfectly)
Over or under  presumptions (presuming imperfectly)
and over or under consumption (consuming imperfectly)

Unlike in the public arena, when one is accused of something it usually is by a police officer and it ends up in court or we simply plead guilty.

But privately we need the accusation addressed and resolved or risk the death of
the relationship, by a thousands cuts of resentment, contempt and malice.

When I am falsely accused I would be willing to go to the ends of the earth to redress this accusation, regardless of the size or depth of such assertions. Unfortunately a lot of people let such false charges slide and both reap the result of such dismissive behavior.